Nothing will ruin a relationship (even the best of relationships) more quickly than ego. Oppose the enticement to defend yourself Many youngsters have not experienced true love, but do have notions based on interpretations made in movies. Ask your elders what love is.Everyone has different definitions, but at the end of the day one has to love a person unconditionally for what they are. Everyone falls in love somehow, somewhere. Humans require attention. They need to feel special and they need someone else to help them comprehend how important they are in this world. Sometimes we have ego, but we don't know it, or, maybe we don't know the different nuances of ego. Human ego wants a relationship; this feeling comes from the mind. Love that is more than infatuation. It’s totally related to heart. Let your heart replace your mind and start loving your partner truly. Relationships are intended to be the most striking part of human life, but regrettably it is the most intricate one. In solitary word, the ground is ego. “Give me some personal space”, “Please let me breathe”, “Stop this nonsense, I can’t take it anymore”, “Stop doubting me”, “The call was waiting whom were you talking with?”, “What the heck do you think of yourself?” and so on. These sentences are natural when you get provoked by your partner. We are all ego-driven to some extent, so let’s acknowledge it and embrace that we need to separate the ego to cultivate and maintain a truly amazing relationship with someone. People think it is macho to use ego to get what they want. It’s probably the reason why some people are very successful, but they end up losing a fair bit in terms of respect outside work. Ego really blinds a lot of people and we have this ME, ME, ME culture. Had they’ve slowed down a bit and gone for a softer way to handle things, it would have been better. Partners might feel much better. We’d be happy to sacrifice comfort for the greater good and longevity of a relationship. The best way to think of your ego is to remember the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. Remember the little devil that would appear? Well, think of the little devil on the left shoulder as your ego. The angel on the right shoulder is what you need to listen to! Brush that dirt off your shoulder. Nothing will ruin a relationship (even the best of relationships) more quickly than ego. Oppose the enticement to defend yourself: Think about the number of times you’ve fought with a significant other and whenever things get a little heated, you start to defend yourself. All you hear is you being attacked, and you immediately go into “defending yourself” mode. Do you know that when you defend yourself in a fight, what’s really happening is your ego is defending itself? It also means that you’ve stopped listening to the other person. If someone tells you that they don’t like the way you’ve been acting lately, why not hear them out instead of defending yourself? It will almost always create a much better outcome. An ego-free relationship will have a nourishing, benevolent influence on every other relationship. Its influence and positivity will prevent the birth of any ego. So guys throw a dart on your calendar when you are totally jobless and go on a romantic date. Make your partner feel special. Love unconditionally. Live life to the fullest by a spirit of sacrifice. “Real happiness lies in making others happy.”Don’t be fake; the realistic ego is very important. Try to look out of the frame and fulfill the expectations of your partner, get adjusted in some situations. Leave your ego and let the relationship win. You will be the happiest person on earth! - S Ratna kumari, associate professor Human development specialist Faculty of home Science. Source: The Hans India, Image: flickr.com
