It’s a pool party! How to stay safe around the pool with friends this summer

Amy Peden, UNSW Sydney

It’s summer so kids’ playdates and birthday parties might start moving from the playground to the pool.

I research how to prevent drowning. I’m also a mum of two kids living in a house with a pool. So water safety is always front of mind.

Drowning deaths are at a record high in Australia. For pre-schoolers, this often happens in backyard pools. Although school-aged children have a much lower risk it’s still important to be vigilant.

Here are some key questions to ask and things to consider before you accept an invitation to a pool party or host your own.

With these tips, you’ll be able to navigate pool safety while ensuring the kids have heaps of fun.

Not everyone knows how to swim

First, think about your child’s swimming ability. Have they learned to swim? Do you know how their ability stacks up against their peers? Check their skills against the recommended minimum national swimming and water safety benchmarks for their age.

Perhaps some top-up lessons or some intensive lessons over summer might give their skills a boost ahead of a busy swim season.

As important as swimming skills are, so too is knowing how to be safe around the water. Have you talked to your kids about water safety? Are they mindful that others may not be able to swim as well as they can and may not be comfortable disclosing this to their friends?

Have you discussed how dangerous it can be to hold each other down under the water or hold their breath to swim to the end of the pool repeatedly? It can lead to someone blacking out.

It’s also not just about drowning. Knowing about water depth, the dangers of diving into shallow water, and not running around a wet and slippery pool can help avoid injury.

It’s not just about the kids

You also have a more direct role in keeping everyone safe. If you’re hosting a playdate and planning to include a swim, have you checked with the child’s parents? Ask about children’s swimming abilities or fears.

Before everyone hits the water, discuss your pool safety rules and expectations with the kids, including your own. My kids, and their friends, are very used to my “lifeguard lectures” by now.

An important part of playing lifeguard is supervision. If your kids’ friends are weak or poor swimmers, regardless of their age, you should be in the water with them. This is usually more fun anyway.

For older kids and more confident swimmers it’s still best to supervise from a distance (maybe poolside) and be dressed ready to get into the water in an emergency.

If you’re expecting more than a couple of kids, you might need more than one adult to ensure adequate supervision (and keep your stress levels down). Ensure each person’s supervision responsibilities are clear to avoid tragic miscommunications, such as: “I thought you were looking after them.”

Have you refreshed your CPR skills lately? Does your pool have a CPR sign you can refer to? Is your pool fenced and compliant? Does the gate close and lock on its own?

What about at someone else’s house?

Are you confident in your child’s ability to swim and be safe around the pool, if you’re not there? Have the hosts asked about your child’s swimming ability and any concerns? If not, you should be proactive and flag them.

Remember that eveyone’s definition of “can swim” is different. Would the hosts mind if you stayed to help supervise?

If you’re going to do the “drop and run”, will the adults hosting be supervising? How vigilant will they be? Will the adults be drinking alcohol?

Having the conversation early can ensure all parents involved are aligned on matters of water safety.

We’re heading to the local pool instead

Many of the same rules apply if you’re meeting up with friends for a swim at your local pool.

Conditions here are more controlled with depth markers and safety equipment. But none of this replaces good swimming skills and safe behaviours.

Although lifeguards are on hand to help should anything go wrong, they are not a substitute for active parental supervision and shouldn’t be treated as babysitters.

In fact, reports of aggression and verbal and physical abuse of lifeguards are increasing, so please be respectful and keep your cool.

Keep yourself safe too

Kids aren’t the only ones who can get into trouble in the water. Adult drownings in a variety of different waterways are also on the rise.

So if you’re hitting the pool this summer, avoid alcohol around the water. You can even be impaired the day after heavy drinking.

Older adults can also be at risk of drowning in backyard pools due to medical incidents, such as a heart attack, or accidentally falling into the water.

If you keep all these issues in mind, we can all have a safe and enjoyable summer by the pool.The Conversation

Amy Peden, NHMRC Research Fellow, School of Population Health and Co-founder UNSW Beach Safety Research Group, UNSW Sydney

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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How to handle teen ‘big feelings’ as the social media ban kicks in

Christiane Kehoe, The University of Melbourne and Elizabeth Westrupp, Deakin University

Watching your teenager grieve the loss of their social media account can be confronting. Many are genuinely distressed or struggling with the change, and many parents are unsure how to respond.

Australia’s social media ban, which started this week, means teens under the age of 16, have lost accounts to platforms such as TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram.

These are the platforms they relied on to talk to friends, find support, follow interests, or decompress after school.

While some teens feel relieved or not fussed, many are feeling sad, worried, powerless, helpless, disappointed or angry.

These aren’t signs of entitlement. They’re signs your teen may need support.

A mixed bag: here’s what more than 17,000 teenagers think of the ban.

Why losing social media hits some teens hard

There’s a neurological reason why the loss of social media can hit teens so hard.

Adolescence is a period of enormous social, neurological and emotional change. Teen brains are wired for peer connection, and their brains become more sensitive to feedback from their peers. Meanwhile the brain regions responsible for impulse control, managing strong emotions and long-term planning are still developing.

When teens say losing social media feels like being “cut off”, they aren’t being dramatic. Their neurological systems are reacting to a loss of social reinforcement.

Connect and validate their feelings

If your teen is upset, the instinct might be to justify the government’s decision or to explain why life offline is healthier. However, advice lands badly when a young person feels unheard. Teens often perceive even well-meaning advice as criticism.

Accepting their feelings about the changes helps validate their experience. You can say:

Feeling angry or sad makes total sense. I know you used those sites to stay connected with your friends.

Losing your account feels huge. It’s a big change to deal with.

Then pause and listen.

Or you can sit with them without saying much. Some teens prefer parents to just listen sympathetically.

Supporting your teen doesn’t mean you agree with their perspective. It means you’re acknowledging their emotional reality. When teens feel understood, they become more open to talking – and eventually, to problem-solving.

The first two weeks may be the toughest. Some teens may experience grief and withdrawal-like symptoms: boredom, anxiety, irritability, restlessness and a powerful urge to “just check once”.

Help teens understand these reactions are normal. Social media platforms are designed to keep users hooked.

Understand the ‘why’ together

It might help to explore the governement’s concerns about social media with your teen – but not as a lecture. The ban isn’t about social media being inherently bad, but about how platforms are designed.

You can talk about algorithms maximising engagement using the same mechanisms as gambling to encourage dependence and addiction. Or you can talk about how feeds are personalised to keep users scrolling for longer.

Ask your teen what they think about these concerns. This isn’t about convincing them the ban is right, but developing their awareness of how digital platforms work. This prepares them for use when they’re older.

Help teens rebuild what social media gave them

To support your teen, it helps to understand the function social media played in their life. Was it to:

  • connect with friends?
  • find community around a niche interest or identity?
  • share creative work, or find outlets for self-expression?
  • de-stress after a busy day?
  • know what others are talking about?

Once you understand this, you can help them find alternatives that genuinely meet their needs. They might be able to maintain:

  • connection by organising a get-together, make FaceTime calls, join clubs, or have group chats on allowed platforms
  • creativity by finding other outlets such as photography, video-making, music, writing, art, or gaming communities with safe age settings
  • relaxation by reading, exercise, podcasts, nature time, shows you can watch together.

Many teens won’t immediately know what they want to try. They may need time and space to have their feelings first. Once they are ready, inviting them to brainstorm a few options (without pressuring them) can help.

Problem-solve together, notice efforts

Once emotions settle, gently shift to collaborative problem-solving. You can ask:

What’s been the hardest part this week?

How could we help you stay connected in ways that are allowed?

What would make this change even a tiny bit easier?

Let your teen lead. Young people are much more likely to follow through on strategies they helped design.

Even small signs of coping deserve acknowledgement. You can say:

I can see you’ve been finding other ways to talk to friends. That takes maturity.

I’m proud of how open you’ve been about how you’re feeling.

But if something doesn’t work, treat it like an experiment. You can say:

OK, that didn’t help as much as we hoped. What else could we try?

Check in later

For teens, losing social media isn’t simply losing an app. It can feel like losing a community, a creative outlet, or a place where they felt understood.

Keep an eye out and offer opportunities to check in with how they are going. This ensures teens don’t navigate this transition alone or become secretive – and that your relationship remains a source of support.


The eSafety Commissioner website explains why the rules were brought in and how they will work; youth mental health service headspace has seven tips for navigating the social media ban; the Raising Children’s website explains how teens use technology for entertainment; tips for digital wellness and how to draw up a “contract” for use of a child’s first phone are also available.The Conversation

Christiane Kehoe, Senior Lecturer in Psychiatry, The University of Melbourne and Elizabeth Westrupp, Associate Professor in Psychology, Deakin University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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