Parents Reveal the Pros (and Cons) of Having Adult Kids Still Living at Home


You may be surprised that fully 85% of parents whose kids previously moved out are delighted their birds have came back to the nest, according to a new poll.

A survey of 2,000 parents whose kids in their 20s live at home aimed to figure out what this experience of housing their 20-somethings has been like—and it uncovered some interesting trends.

42% had kids who initially moved out, while 58% said their chicks had never flown the coop.


For those who spread their wings and left their parent’s house, the top reasons included: to experience living on their own (41%), go to college (29%) or to live with a partner (26%).

Of these respondents, seven in ten said they recall the moment their child asked to move back in (69%). 42% agreed the reason for moving back was not begin able to afford living on their own, and 33% simply wanted to save money (perhaps for a down payment on their own mortgage).


Conducted by Talker Research for BOK Financial, the survey found that convenience also played a factor in why these adult kids returned home (32%).

Most interestingly, one-quarter of the homebound youth wanted to be closer to their family (25%)—and nearly half of parents (45%) said it actually improved their relationship when the child moved back.

A quarter of those surveyed admitted they weren’t financially prepared to have their child live with them later in life (27%), but just 19% said the situation had a negative impact on their own financial planning or retirement plans.

“If you have adult kids living at home—which isn’t uncommon nowadays!—it’s an opportunity to model good financial practices while encouraging them to save diligently,” said Leasa Melton, manager of product strategy for BOK Financial.

29% reported their child rarely (or never) contributes to the household financially, but Melton encourages patience.

“They’re often living at home to save up for their next step of independence and having them in your house gives you a chance to cheer them on in a safe environment.”

“Like everything else in parenting, it’s a balance between letting them learn and helping guide them.

On average, parents estimate that their kids will remain under their roof for another 16 months, while a third of respondents aren’t sure about their children’s tenure (32%). Indeed, 56% have doubts about their kids being financially prepared now to leave home at this time.

For their children to gain financial independence, 28% of parents wish there were more resources for financial education or planning. However, a whopping 90% agreed that it was important for them to teach their children financial lessons before they exit high school.

Teaching Good Financial Habits

Just 20% would grade their child’s understanding of financial matters with an A—although 27% gave the same grade to themselves.

There’s always time to learn, though. Parents have taught their children all sorts of lessons in adulthood, primarily finance-related (66%), domestic-related (59%) and lifestyle-related (52%).

A third of parents also recall being late bloomers, sharing that all of the financial advice they taught their child was learned in adulthood (32%).

While their adult children have been living with them, parents reported having emphasized lessons on how to save money (77%) and budget (71%), above all. Parents also stress the importance of paying down debt (53%) and investing (46%).“Children might not always pick up on financial lessons when they are young,” said Melton. “But as they gain independence, living at home provides another opportunity to help them establish good financial habits—a win for both parents and their adult children.” Parents Reveal the Pros (and Cons) of Having Adult Kids Still Living at Home