Rebuilding confidence after emotional abuse

New Delhi, (IANSlife) Emotional abuse is a silent and insidious form of mistreatment that can erode a person's self-esteem, leaving them feeling broken and devoid of self-worth. For those who have experienced emotional abuse in a relationship, the journey to healing and rebuilding confidence can be arduous. However, with the guidance and support of a relationship coach, individuals can tap into the transformative power of self-care to reclaim their sense of self.

It is a very serious topic, as emotional abuse is silent but hurts the sentiments of the other person. Abuse is just a word, but the sense of it in a relationship is very deep. It can manifest in various forms, including constant criticism, humiliation, isolation, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail. Over time, the victim of emotional abuse may internalise these negative messages, leading to a profound loss of confidence and self-belief.

Anjali Tyagi, a certified relationship coach, outlines some strategies for helping women combat emotional abuse in relationships and reclaim their confidence via the power of self-care.

Creating a Safe Space: One of the first steps in healing from emotional abuse is to provide a safe and non-judgmental space for individuals to share their experiences and emotions. Relationship coaches offer this safe haven where clients can open up about their past trauma and feelings without fear of criticism, which develops a sense of safety and creates a comfortable environment for the people.

Self-Reflection and Awareness: Emotional abuse often leaves survivors with a distorted self-image. Relationship coaches help reflect on their strengths, values, and goals. Through introspection, individuals can regain a sense of self-awareness and begin to separate their identity from the negative messages they received during the abusive relationship.

Setting Boundaries: Emotional abuse often involves violations of personal boundaries. Relationship coaches work with people to establish healthy boundaries that protect their emotional well-being. Learning to say "no" and assert their needs is a crucial step in rebuilding confidence and self-respect.

Rebuilding Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem is a common consequence of emotional abuse. Relationship coaches guide in developing self-compassion and self-acceptance.

Identifying Self-Care Practises: Self-care is a cornerstone of healing from emotional abuse. Relationship coaches help to identify self-care practises that resonate with them, such as mindfulness, journaling, exercise, or creative pursuits. These practices promote emotional healing and boost self-confidence.

Establishing Support Networks: Isolation is often a tactic used by emotional abusers to maintain control. Relationship coaches assist in building a strong support network of friends, family, or support groups. Having a supportive community can be a lifeline during the healing process.

Developing Resilience: Emotional abuse survivors often grapple with feelings of vulnerability. Relationship coaches help in developing resilience by teaching coping strategies, stress management techniques, and emotional regulation skills. This resilience allows individuals to bounce back from setbacks and challenges with renewed strength.

Goal Setting and Progress Monitoring: Setting and achieving goals is a vital aspect of rebuilding confidence. Relationship coaches work to set realistic and achievable goals, whether they relate to personal growth, career advancement, or relationships. Regular progress monitoring keeps them motivated and focused on their journey to healing and self-empowerment.

"After experiencing emotional abuse, regaining confidence is a process that calls for endurance, self-compassion, and commitment to one's own well-being. The potential of self-care to foster emotional healing and aid survivors of emotional abuse in regaining a sense of self-worth and self-belief is what gives it its strength. On this path, a relationship coach acts as a reliable friend and mentor, providing encouragement, advice, and skills that enable people to recover their lives.Keep in mind that recovering from emotional abuse takes time, and it is acceptable to ask for assistance and help. In addition to regaining their confidence, survivors can come out of the shadows of abuse as stronger, more resilient people prepared to embrace a brighter future full of self-love and self-empowerment with the help of a relationship coach and a dedication to self-care", concludes Tyagi. Rebuilding confidence after emotional abuse | MorungExpress | morungexpress.com

Read More........→September 12, 2024

Your sense of self is deeply tied to your memory – here’s how

Shane Rogers, Edith Cowan University

You might say you have a “bad memory” because you don’t remember what cake you had at your last birthday party or the plot of a movie you watched last month. On the other hand, you might precisely recall the surface temperature of the Sun any time when asked.

So, is your memory bad, or just fine? Memory is at the very heart of who we are, but it’s surprisingly complex once we start looking at how it all fits together.

In fact, there’s more than one type of memory, and this determines how we recall certain facts about the world and ourselves.

How do we classify memory?

Cognitive psychologists distinguish between declarative memory and non-declarative memory. Non-declarative memories are expressed without conscious recollection, such as skills and habits like typing on a keyboard or riding a bike.

But memories you’re consciously aware of are declarative – you know your name, you know what year it is, and you know there is mustard in the fridge because you put it there.

However, not all of our memories are stored in the same way, nor in the same place in our brains. Declarative memory can be further broken down into semantic memory and episodic memory.

Semantic memory refers to general knowledge about the world. For example, knowing that cats are mammals.

Episodic memory refers to episodes of your life, typically with elements of “what”, “where” and “when”. For example, I remember cuddling my pet cat (what) in my home office (where) just before sitting down to write this article (when).

A sense of self-awareness is strongly involved in episodic memory. It’s the feeling of personally remembering.

For semantic memories, this sense is not as strong – you can have detached knowledge without the context of “how” and “when”. For instance, I know that Canberra is the capital city of Australia (semantic memory), yet I can’t remember specifically when and where I learnt this (episodic memory).

Lessons from amnesia

In the mid-20th century, famous case studies of amnesic patients were the early evidence of this distinction between semantic and episodic memory.

For example, Henry Molaison and Kent Cochrane both experienced brain damage that severely impacted their episodic memory abilities.

They couldn’t recall events from their lives, but knew many things about the world in general. In effect, their personal past had vanished, even though their general knowledge remained intact.

In one interview after the accident that caused his brain damage, Cochrane was able to describe how to change a flat tire in perfect detail – despite not remembering having ever done this task.

There have also been reports of cases of people whose ability to recall semantic memories is largely impaired, while their episodic memory abilities seem mostly fine. This is known as semantic dementia.

Your age affects how your memory works

Young children have both memory systems, but they develop at different rates. The capacity to form strong semantic memories comes first, while episodic memory takes longer.

In fact, true episodic memory ability may not fully develop until around the age of three or four years. This helps explain why you have scant memories of your earliest childhood. We gain greater self-awareness around the same age too.

While episodic memory ability develops more slowly in early life, it also declines more quickly in old age. On average, older adults tend to remember fewer episodic details compared to younger adults in memory recall assessments.

In older adults with more severe cognitive decline, such as dementia, the ability to recall episodic memories is typically much more affected, compared to semantic memories. For example, they might have difficulty remembering they had pasta for lunch the day before (episodic memory), while still having perfect knowledge of what pasta is (semantic memory).

Ultimately, it all works together

Brain imaging studies have actually revealed that overlapping areas of the brain are active when recalling both semantic and episodic types of memories. In a neurological sense, these two types of memory appear to have more similarities than differences.

In fact, some have suggested episodic and semantic memory might be better thought of as a continuum rather than as completely distinct memory systems. These days, researchers acknowledge memory recall in everyday life involves tight interaction between both types.

A major example of how you need both types to work together is autobiographical memory, also called personal semantics. This refers to personally relevant information about yourself.

Let’s say you call yourself “a good swimmer”. At first glance, this may appear to be a semantic memory – a fact without the how, why, or when. However, recall of such a personally relevant fact will likely also produce related recall of episodic experiences when you’ve been swimming.

All this is related to something known as semanticisation – the gradual transformation of episodic memories into semantic memories. As you can imagine, it challenges the distinction between semantic and episodic memory.

How our memories form over time. Shane Rogers/The Conversation

Ultimately, how we remember shapes how we understand ourselves. Episodic memory allows us to mentally return to experiences that feel personally lived, while semantic memory provides the stable knowledge that binds those experiences into a coherent life story.

Over time, the boundary between the two softens as specific events are condensed into broader beliefs about who we are, what we value, and what we can do. Memory is not simply a storehouse of the past. It’s an active system that continually reshapes our sense of identity.

Shane Rogers, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, Edith Cowan University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Read More........→January 29, 2026